You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.
– Anne Lamott
We’re all taught that some feelings are “good” and some are “bad.” We learn rules and roles about how to manage emotions in our families, schools, and communities. Because of the often unspoken norms that are reinforced in our society, many of us were taught to stuff and silence emotions such as fear and anger that are often seen as negative. Norms within certain contexts, like athletics, also impact whether or not people feel comfortable expressing emotions. As a former high school athlete, Kevin is a good example of someone who felt the expectation to be “strong” or “tough” not only physically but emotionally as well. Traditional rules and roles reinforce this idea that feelings need to be controlled, rather than expressed and honored. Today’s lesson models the importance of expressing emotions in healthy ways.
Prior to teaching this lesson, review all of the guest artist videos, and choose one guest artist video that will resonate with your students. You will play this guest artist video in addition to the video where Kevin speaks with a colleague about gender rules and roles. Also, write your own “I could tell you…” poem that you will share with your students.
Have paper and pens or personal electronic devices (i.e. laptops, tablets, and Chromebooks) available for writing time.
Kevin and Leon describe the way gender rules and roles have impacted their ability to express emotion.
Hussain Manawer reads a poem about his mom and offers advice to students on how to write their own “I Could Tell You” poems.
Charles Benitez shares a poem he wrote about his connection with his mom who passed away after her battle with cancer.
Jacquay reads her poem about struggling with mental health challenges since she was young.
Lizardo Reyes Jr. reads a poem about his late father who struggled with alcoholism.
Kennedy shares her poem about ‘the weight’ she has carried in her life including the anxiety she experienced during the pandemic and how much it helps her to know she isn’t alone in this experience.
Jaslene shares a poem she wrote to honor her mom’s memory after her mom passed away.
Adam shares his poem and reflects on the way reading and writing poetry helps him feel less alone.
Hannah, an academic counselor for University of Texas Athletics, shares a poem where she reflects on her journey navigating a health challenge while living abroad.
Peyton shares a poem she wrote about the way a mass shooting impacted her life, and how difficult it was to support others when she was feeling so much fear.
Reychelle shares her writing about moving from one country to another, and the way this experience shaped her identity.
Nana, a volunteer from Ghana who works with a non-profit organization called FromHearts2Hands, shares a poem about travel and her love for where she comes from.
Seuri, a teacher from a remote village in Tanzania, shares how he was physically abused as a child, and how this experience led to his determination to keep his students safe as the trusted adult in the classroom.
Display the ‘welcome slide’ from the Lesson 2 PowerPoint as you begin.
*Slide 1
As discussed in the teaching training, remember to make the suggested language below authentic to yourself and meaningful for your students.
Example of What You Could Say:
“Today we are going to explore the reason why we don’t often talk about emotion in our society. We have been taught that certain emotions are more acceptable to share than others. Of course, this depends on our particular culture. For example, in some cultures, we may feel more comfortable sharing happier or more ‘positive’ emotions than ‘negative’ emotions such as sadness, fear, or anger. I’m going to share a video of Kevin speaking with a colleague about the way gender roles and rules impacted their comfort with expressing emotion as they were growing up.”
Play the video of Kevin’s conversation with his colleague, Leon. In this video, Kevin and Leon describe the way gender rules and roles have impacted their ability to express emotion.
Example of What You Could Say:
“Now we are going to explore one way that people have found to break out of the family and cultural rules and roles, and learn to express emotion through creative expression. In this next video, a guest artist shared a poem that allowed him to talk about something that has been really difficult to put into words. Poetry helped him to tell his story, and to do so without having to share every detail.”
The guest artist models the creative activity by sharing a poem about a challenging life experience.
Before you play the guest artist video, remember to give students a description of the video content, so that they can decide if they would like to view the video. The video descriptions are listed above each video. Prior to playing the video, you will remind students- “Stories hold potential for various forms of connection to the people who hear them. This story may connect deeply to you if you have had a similar experience. In this video…(read the one sentence description that is above the video).”
Example of What You Could Say:
“The artist in the video shared a method for writing a poem, using the phrase ‘I could tell you…’ as an anchor for their writing. I was a bit nervous to write a poem myself, but watching this video inspired me to try to be more vulnerable than I normally would. I would like to share what I wrote with you.” (Read your poem.)
Example of What You Could Say:
“I want you to think of an important memory, something you went through in your life that was challenging. It can be anything. Even if it is something you don’t usually talk about in school. Use the phrase ‘I could tell you…’ as your starting point for this poem. If you feel stuck, you can simply return back to the phrase. Do not worry about rhyming, grammar, or making a polished final product, just focus on expressing your emotions and following your stream of consciousness. We will write for about 15 minutes. You will get to choose if you want to share what you’ve written. It is completely up to you.”
*Slide 3
Students are invited to write a poem that begins with the sentence stem “I could tell you…” This phrase becomes the anchor for the entire poem. If the students get stuck, they can simply go back and write this phrase “I could tell you…” again and see what else comes up for them. The goal of writing the poem is not to create a cohesive final product, but instead, to prioritize the process of connecting to emotions and expressing feelings through the writing.
Please plan to offer your students at least 15 minutes to work on this creative activity. If you see that they are still engaged, and you have the time, let them write for five minutes longer.
If you or your students would like to learn more about the ideas in this lesson, additional resources and third party links are included below.
In the same way that boys and men receive messages about how they should or should not express emotions, women are also impacted by cultural messaging. If students want to read more about this, they can explore resources that speak to women’s emotions. They may be interested in reading recently published book on the myth of the strong Black woman: Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen: The Emotional Lives of Black Women. There is also ample research on the way gender stereotypes perpetuate myths related to emotional expression. This article provides a helpful introduction to this topic: Men are just as emotional as women: New research debunks gender stereotypes.